Sudah lama aku tak beranjak
Dari kamar ini
Hanya berani mengintip
Ramainya perayaan
Bahagianya orang-orang
Lewat lubang di jendela
Yang sangat kecil
Ini

Sudah lama ku tak beranjak
Dari kursi ini
Manusia berjatuhan
Sekelilingku berguncang
Namun kutetap takpeduli

Sudah terlalu lama
Ku mulai matirasa
Matiasa
Mati segalanya.

Saat ini
Waktu memaksaku beranjak dari masa lalu
Sebuah potret yang tergambar
Diatas debu-debu yang diterbangkan angin

Masih kuingat
warna mentari pagi itu
serta kilaunya dedaunan
yang sedang bercumbu dengan cahayanya

Sejenak damai kurasakan
Damai yang kini kuingat
Pada akhirnya berubah
Menjadi kesenduan yang malang

Seperti itu juga
Senyummu pagi itu
Indah dilatar belakangi mentari
Sampai akhirnya

Kudapati diriku
Masih saja termenung
Memandangi figurmu
Melangkah bersama debu-debu yang diterbangkan angin

Penantianku berbalut rindu
Lumuri hariku dengan segala resah mendera
Membutakan rasa makna berhingga

Penantianku ini tak pelak
Berdiri tegar menyambut malam
Abaikan terik matahari siang

Ingin kuteriakkan
Penatku
Resahku
Gelisahku
Amarahku
Rinduku
Namun  yang kubisa hanya terpaku
Menunggu

Penantianku ini berbalut rindu
Berjibaku melawan ragu

Biar kutitipkan pesan pada tanah yang kupijak
Biar dia jadi saksi rinduku tak goyah
Jika kau datang ketika ku tlah lebur bersama dedaunan
Biar kau rasakan asaku memenuhi udara yang kau hirup
Membuncah membakar rasa
Tahan di segala masa

Agar kau tahu

Penantianku memang berbalut rindu

Semak daun membuncah di kaki gunung
Terkikis waktu, jadi debu.
Lama kemudian, jam-jam berhenti berdetak
Heningkan cipta, rasa terhingga

Tersentuh auramu
Ku membeku
Kau tlah tinggal bayangan,
Namun jejakmu tinggal tetap

After a long, long break, I begin to write again. Seriously, I should make this a habit. Actually I don't know what I want to to write about this time, but  I force myself, since this is the only way for me to share what's in my mind and my heart right now. haahhh...
It seems that nothing is going along with my plan. Many things that should be done, but I haven't start it. I keep saying to myself that I have to move on, but my body doesn't seem to cooperate. Well, you can say that this laziness is so irritating. and now i couldn't help but irritating myself. Which is useless. Because doesn't matter how much I loathed myself, if I keep being like this, nothing will change. Everything will just become worse.
I keep on trying to putting straight the things in my life, but I guess I don't really trying. I should really do it right now, as I change the name of this website. The useless attitude should be keep in the trash, and letting myself get used to the more useful habit. Come on... If everyone else can do it, then I can do it too. It is just a matter of time. Maybe I'm a little late. But better late than never, isn't it?
Sooooo....
Get to work!!!

Finally.... after writing the same boring diary in my computer, I decided to make a blog (again). But there's a difference in this blog with my previous one. A big difference, actually. In this blog, I planned to post everything that I wanted to post. because in the previous one, there are so many consideration before i post a writing. but this time, that won't be happening (of course i won't post a sensitive topic here that will strive many people to banish me, -_-"). I decided that this will become my start, a little step to change myself, the way I think, the way I do, the way I behave. I hope I can make a better me by changing the bad me into the better me. God Bless Me!!!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcyxp0EDvB1qkwqcjo1_1280.jpg